You know how when you check your e-mail there are always like 100,000 spam messages? It gets annoying when they creep into your inbox because the spam filter doesn't pick it up, and you have to delete until you get mouse-related hand-cramp. Because really? I'm a GIRL! Why do I need medication to make my man parts larger?! As I have always said, if that medication works on me, then you've got a friggin' PRODUCT homey!
More recently however, I have actually been going into my spam folder just for the entertainment factor (current spam count: 1757). It's not just the funny products, it's the grammar! On gmail you can not only read the title of the e-mail, but also the first sentence without having to open what is undoubtedly a virus ready to eat your entire computer and spit out a Casio calculator watch from 1975.
Here are some of the best spam samples from the last week, get ready for the treasure trove of awesomeness!:
- Want to nail her good? Order packs! Swallowing this blue thing means this evening you will nail your lady night-long!
- Super improver for your performer: Impress your girl tonight! You don't need to go to your local store, just order our products online!
- With our tabs nothing'll cause bed unluck: Sometimes it is just odd to lose a woman because of temporary male problems.
- Super man in bed after 1 doze: It is what a man needs to fight the most delicate problem.
- Fems will jump on your stick! We have male products so low-cost...
Huh, nothing from Nigeria lately offering me money from a long-lost relative...I must be slipping.