Monday, January 23, 2012

Physical Therapists are Sadists

Since I am broken...all the time...I have been to the PT more than once.  For more than one body part.  Repeatedly.  It's a gift. 

Currently I am going to the PT for my hip.  I developed quite bad bursitis and--just to put the cherry on top--messed up my IT band.  Yeaaaaa...good times.

At my first appointment my PT was basically doing the maneuver in the picture above, rotation my leg around in the hip socket. Then, WITHOUT WARNING, he yanked it straight and popped my hip out to "release tension."  I yelled.  Really loudly.  Yes, it hurt like the dickens, but it also surprised me.  Warn a sister.  Ok?

Then on my last appointment I had another PT and she literally rolling-pined my IT band (owwww) and then found knots in my IT band and massaged them out with her full body weight with her elbow.  When I (may have) whimpered, she told me I was "lucky" because she "could have been meaner."  Uhhh...

I spent the rest of the day limping after that appointment when before going in I was doing fine.  Thanks guys.

The sad part?  I go again this week.  I guess if PTs are sadistic, I'm masochistic...

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Freaking Technology

Ok, so, apparently iPhones can be hacked.  Through the freakin' iCloud...maybe I should have realized this possibility before, but I have been living in the land of "My iPhone is cooler then YOU" for a long time now.  It still is, but...

Hacking happened to me today.

First it sent a "hey sexy" text to my Mom.  Frankly, I thought that was funny, but it freaked me out a little because I had not sent that text and I didn't purse-text with autocorrect (you know that crap happens) because at 11:46am when the text was sent I was sitting in a dark room where there is NO service, at a microscope, reading slides. 

So I tell my friend at work, we have a good laugh about's funny, but not harmful.  Good thing my Mom has a good sense of humor.  When I told her I didn't send that she was like, "yeah, right...hahahaha."  That goes to show what kind of humor we both have I guess.  LOL 

Then I got this awful feeling...what if that wasn't the only person "my phone" texted?  So I looked back through text history (because I didn't have any new text alerts) and lo and of my really good friends was also texted.  "I" requested a picture from her, and when she was like "why are you crazy? I'm seeing you in a week for dinner." the hacker responded "fine, cancel dinner then."  Well, there was stuff in between, but thankfully no profanity.  Then I get a Facebook message from her telling me that she thinks my phone was stolen because she is getting these weird texts with really poor grammar from "me" and she knows it can't be me.  Bless her little heart, she knew it wasn't me because of poor grammar.  You know someone knows you when...LOL

I have now turned off iMessages (which is texting between iPhones that apparently goes through the cloud, and I will be turning off iCloud syncing), so there.  Take that advanced iPhone mechanics.

I think the Cylons are trying to take over...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Ah, Back To Normal

I go to a small gym in my town, but the big plus is that it has a heated swimming pool.  That's actually why I ended up switching gyms, I wanted to swim in the Master's classes in the morning.  I thought it would be better for my poor broken body, what with the no-impact cardio and all.

So starting sometime last Fall I began dragging my butt up at 5am to go to the hour long class Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Let me emphasize I am NOT, repeat NOOOOOOOOT a morning person.  Never have been.  And I'm going to go ahead and say it, I never will be a morning person.  Don't try to convince me otherwise.  I don't believe in mornings for anything other than sleeping.

I drive the 7 minutes it takes to get to the gym at 5:30 in the morning, go into the small locker room to change out of my sweats (I wear my bathing suit underneath), put on my goggles and cap, wrap a towel around myself and then go brave the cold.  Because despite the fact the pool is heated, it is not indoors, so it is fraking cold outside.  Your best bet is to banzai into the water and start swimming as fast as you can to warm up.  I have found no other way.  Pansying around and dipping your toe in first is not the way to go, trust me.

When I am done with my swim I run into the locker room to change and head back home.  Starting on the first day and every single Tuesday/Thursday after that, I have opened the door to the locker room and have been confronted with a naked woman.  The same naked woman.  Right in front of the door.  Free bird.  I realize that it is a locker room and of course people change in there, there are even showers.  I just wasn't expecting blatant nudity just hanging out right at the entrance.  Like, the lady just chills in her birthday suit and greets people.  The first couple of times was a bit shocking, but then after that I just found it hilarious and it sorta became part of my routine.  Get up, go swimming, see a naked lady, go home and shower.  Morning accomplished.

It got to the point where she would greet me when I came in.  She now recognized me as a regular.  One time she even asked me to make sure the door was shut on a windy day...NOT because she was afraid it would blow open and give everyone a peep show, but because it was "creating a draft" (her words) for her unclothed self.

So then about 2 months ago I really messed up my hip and I wasn't able to swim until last week.  Tuesday and Thursday I go swim, no naked lady.  WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?  It threw off my routine.  I didn't know where I was, or what I was supposed to be doing anymore.  Then this morning--ah...back to normal--I opened up the locker room door and there was my naked lady to greet me.  The world has righted itself once again.