TV Land May Not Be Where I Live, But It's Where I Have a Summer Home

It has been pointed out to me more than once, and by more that one person (usually in a superior voice), that I watch a lot of TV. 

This is true.  I own this.

These same superior-I-have-so-many-better-things-to-do-with-my-time people are also the first people to ask me what happened on last night's episode. Uh-huh. 

I am slightly picky about what I do watch, so for instance, I am not down with soap operas, (in general) I abhor reality TV (Jersey Shore, anything involving housewives, bachelors, stupid human tricks, etc) , and the news just depresses me.  I love CSI, medical/crime dramas, comedies, and sci-fi stuff. 

Since the invention of the DVR my TV watching has increased exponentially...hey, I don't even know how I manage to watch everything.  Although I will tell you it involves a lot of multi-tasking (right now I am writing this post and watching Ghost Hunters) and usually a lot of backlog. 

My recall for TV, books, music and movies is pretty darn good which means my pop culture references are AWESOME.  ;)  Maybe I should go out on pub quiz nights...







Yes, I Am Giving You the Evil Eye

Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

Ok, maybe don't be afraid of this picture I found of the older guy who is giving "The Look," but not really "The Evil Eye."  I just Google Imaged "evil eye" and they weren't playing.  Some creeeepy stuff popped up.

I guess I could have gone with this one instead:

But whatever.  I digress.

Anywho...Evil Eye.  Back to the story.

I had to go to the DMV yesterday...Ah-ha!  Now you understand the evil eye, huh?

I had what amounts to a pleasant experience up until the very end when I had to get my picture taken.  I HATE getting my picture taken, it makes me nervous, to the point where I am pretty sure my palms were sweating.  So I truck up to window 8 where there is one counter and computer, in front of which is this line divider thingy up with a big sign that says "Wait behind the line until it is your turn."  Fair enough.  It's in the corner of the DMV, so really you would be totally getting in the way otherwise.

It is my turn, I go up to the counter, sit my purse down, hand the dude my paper, get my thumbprint scanned again, sign my name and am about to step directly to my left to take the pic when this dude in a suit comes barreling up next to me--ignoring the sign!--and starts asking the DMV worker questions about how long it's going to take to get his replacement ID.

Excuse me?!  Can you not read?  Do you think you are more important then the rest of the people here?  Can you not wait your turn?  Because now I have to step away from my purse with you standing right there and try to look like I don't want to murder you in a picture ID that will be permanently displayed on my card for at least the next 4 years.  So help me, if I look like a sociopath on my driver's license picture because of this guy...like I need more picture stress!  I'm already afraid I blinked when the flash went off, therefore making me look stoned.  Just what I need, a government ID that makes me look like an angry stoner.  For the love of all that's holy people...

Today's Post Has Been Brought To You By The Letter "P" and the Number 1

Anyone who has ever upped their water intake (whether for just health reasons or because of increase in exercise) will understand when I say, "I have to pee all the time!!!"  For reals.  Last week after my third trip to the bathroom I looked at the clock and did a double take.  I just went pee THREE times in an hour and a half?  WHAT?!  So what did I do on my way back from said bathroom?  That's right, stop to drink some more water.  It's a sick cycle. 

I mean, you're welcome kidneys and a solid fist bump for being healthy, but how many times am I going to be jumping around in my desk chair today?  Give it a rest.  I have better things to do with my time at work...like read other people's blogs...

The Treadmill: It Ain't For Wimps

My New Year's resolution?  Start training for a 5K.

I know, I know...it's really "Start Training for a 5K, Part Deux."  Whatever.  Don't judge.  The first one I did kinda sucked and it was actually run by real PEOPLE.  As in there were actual "trainers" telling you what to do as you hoofed it around a track.  Was I able to run a 5K at the end of it?  No.  I ran 1 mile...almost. 

So the thing I am doing now is a training schedule (online: 5K Training) that in 9 weeks is supposed to bring you from the couch to being able to run 3 miles...I am not exactly couch status, but I can't run worth crap so here we go knees!  Let's all get in this together!  Today was day 1 of week 2 and I am still hanging in there.  Hollah!  I'm doing what I can people.  It's a start.

Raptures Over the New County Library

I would say the local county library has been closed for...oh...six months to a year.  It's a little hazy now.  They closed it down for renovations, but then moved all the books to an empty warehouse in town so I could still check books out, therefore staving off any freak-outs that would have ensued over not getting my precious bound pages of story goodness.  NOT being able to check out books for a year would have definitely stuck in my head.  To the day. 

I went over the the new library last week because 1) they finally opened the sacred doors and 2) I had a book on hold.  Give me!

First impression: Library of the FUTURE.  TODAY!  They have this sweet book drop that is completely automated.  A little door opens up in a wall and you send your book off on a conveyor belt that automatically scans your book off your library card.  How cool is that?!! 

The inside of the library is pretty cool too.  It's all sparkly and new, with more reading areas, redesigned sections and the old standby: the smell of books.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...*bliss*

If you haven't been to a library recently, go.  Walk around.  Soak in the atmosphere.  Be jealous of my high-tech book return.  I dare ya.

Ghost in the Closet?

So, I was going about my business yesterday at work and had to go back into the storage closet where we keep the fluorescent microscope.  I was standing over by the table where there is a little lamp with a push-button on switch and all of a sudden it turned on.  All.  By.  Itself.

Hello???????????????

Someone call Ghost Hunters for me.  T.A.P.S. needs to get out here!

Spam Mail, More Entertaining Then You Think

You know how when you check your e-mail there are always like 100,000 spam messages?  It gets annoying when they creep into your inbox because the spam filter doesn't pick it up, and you have to delete until you get mouse-related hand-cramp.  Because really?  I'm a GIRL!  Why do I need medication to make my man parts larger?!  As I have always said, if that medication works on me, then you've got a friggin' PRODUCT homey! 

More recently however, I have actually been going into my spam folder just for the entertainment factor (current spam count: 1757).  It's not just the funny products, it's the grammar!  On gmail you can not only read the title of the e-mail, but also the first sentence without having to open what is undoubtedly a virus ready to eat your entire computer and spit out a Casio calculator watch from 1975.

Here are some of the best spam samples from the last week, get ready for the treasure trove of awesomeness!:

• Want to nail her good?  Order packs! Swallowing this blue thing means this evening you will nail your lady night-long!
• Super improver for your performer: Impress your girl tonight! You don't need to go to your local store, just order our products online!
• With our tabs nothing'll cause bed unluck: Sometimes it is just odd to lose a woman because of temporary male problems. 
• Super man in bed after 1 doze: It is what a man needs to fight the most delicate problem.  
• Fems will jump on your stick!  We have male products so low-cost...

Huh, nothing from Nigeria lately offering me money from a long-lost relative...I must be slipping.