This guy cracks me up!
Him: I'm watching NCIS:LA and I don't know why.
Me: It's because ll cool j is pretty isn't it?
Him: Eff yeah!
Me: Ah, I see you are American Bandstanding in the kitchen
Him: *dances around like a goober*
Me: You're baking a pie? Why?
Him: Why not? Never done it before...
Me: Really? Huh.
And then later that night...
Him: Heather! Try a piece of my pie!
Me: It turned out well then?
Him: I don't even like apple pie and I like my pie!
Me: Ok, I'll try a piece later.
Him: EAT MY PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Stop pressuring me!
Me: *walking into a conversation between my guy roommate and his girlfriend*
Him: Ooh! We should ask Heather!
Him: Who makes the pearl tampons?
Him: *turning to his girlfriend* HA! Told you!!
Me: Oh jeez.
Me: *leaving for work in the morning*
Him: Good luck!
Him: *playing drunken Monopoly with my other roommate*
Me: I live with thugs...
Him: *singing* I was belly dancing...
Me: Yeah, but you didn't make much did ya?
Him: Hell no &/tch!